A Few Favors
by ThePaperWhale
Summary: Law school is tough, and Haruhi is stressed.  That's nothing a booty call from an old friend won't fix.  Contains pegging.


Haruhi weathers the romantic antics just long enough to remove her pants. Not to be rude, but Tamaki hasn't updated his game since high school, and all his cooing about her 'sensuous beauty' really does nothing for her, so she shuts him up with a good, long kiss, powerful enough to knock the platitudes out of him for a while. He had been nice enough to offer his own home for their tryst (a penthouse in the city, its butler given the night off) which was far preferable to wasting money on a hotel or risking a walk-in from her roommates), and in exchange she'd made them dinner, so there's really only so much of his bullshit she feels obligated to indulge.

That's not to say that his quirky, perpetually theatrical nature isn't sort of cute, in a nostalgic way. But 'cute' isn't what Haruhi prefers to think about when she's about to fuck a guy senseless. He seems to get the message pretty squarely, and puts his mouth to better use (though he still punctuates his kisses with sweet -nothings in French), and as she quickly learns just how good he is at foreplay, she's regretting not doing this sooner. She'd taken him for a clueless virgin throughout their friendship, and taking him up on his booty call (oh, he hadn't used that term, but they would be lying to themselves if they didn't admit that was precisely what it was) had been more of a case of stressed-out necessity. She tells him that he'd better not 'get weird' about this when they're done, but apparently her left nipple is far too delicious for him to stop tasting it long enough to respond. Whatever. She's spent too many years with Tamaki to honestly disbelieve the futility of attempting to prevent him from 'getting weird' in any situation.

Oh, but the way his tongue is getting weird, now that's just the best possible kind of weird there is. If there's anything to be said in Tamaki's favor, it's that he's eager to please. If only her last friend-with-benefits (not boyfriend. Haruhi doesn't do boyfriends.) had been this creative, she might have actually called him up tonight. His loss, though. Tonight Tamaki's delusions of being a suave Casanova are actually doing her a few favors, so she's going to do him one. It's only fair.

"Wait here a second, okay Senpai?" She sits back and pats his head appreciatively, though he looks more than a little disappointed to have her no longer straddling his face. He recovers rather quickly, however, sitting up in bed as she unzips her messenger bag and retrieves the contents.

"What is it, ma belle?" he asks eagerly as she begins to buckle herself into the harness with the kind of expertise that only comes with practice, "Lingerie? Oh, _cherie_, what a lovely gesture, but you are positively beautiful without the need for any sort of ornamentation. Why, merely the glow of the moon's light on your fair skin, just as God himself made you, is enough. Your blush is more gorgeous than ruby red rouge, your skin is the loveliest silk. Your cock is-" He pauses and stares in puzzlement at the instrument she's snapped into place at her crotch, "... Haruhi, you have a... a manhood."

She looks up at him and blinks.

"And?"

She is polite enough to wait for Tamaki to make sense of a world that has apparently now been flipped upside down (he has one of these revelations at least once a week, it seems. She's come to just take his habit of being absolutely amazed and baffled and begin to question his entire life's purpose over something inconsequential, yet recovering with impressive speed for granted.)

"... Just where is that going?"

"Oh Senpai, don't be stupid. You know exactly where this is going." She sighs, her hand on her hip, standing at the edge of the bed where he's reclined in one of his 'sexy' poses. He's eyeing the toy with a great deal of apprehension.

"But... but..." He's working through his words, and she's so sure he's going to protest with 'but you're a girl'. Instead, he blurts out, "But you didn't buy me dinner first!"

"What?" Haruhi raises an eyebrow at him. "I made you dinner."

"That's a woman's gesture, though! If I'm to have my bottom deflowered, I would have it be at the hands of someone who's properly romanced me and treated me how a respectable gentleman should treat a lady."

"Senpai, first off, I'm broke as hell. I'm not buying you dinner. Second, you're a guy. You have always been a guy and you will still be a guy even when I'm pounding your ass into the mattress. Honestly, you should feel lucky: you're pretty much getting the better end of the deal. Third, this is just how I do things. If you don't like it, then we don't have to have sex. And if you don't want to go through with it, then make up your mind; I could be studying for my Bar exam right now."

Tamaki stares at her with his hand against his cheek like a coy blushing maiden in an old cartoon, and Haruhi wonders if this would be easier to go through if she were to play along and call him 'pretty lady' or something.

"S- so embarrassing!" he says, looking away, and she can't believe someone who's apparently the world master of cunnilingus could muster up enough modesty to be flustered by something as innocuous as a dildo.

"You were planning on sticking your dick in me, weren't you? Is that so shameful?"

"I- no, of course not, I only have the greatest respect for you, Haruhi! _Ma amie_, I would never do something to degrade you."

"Good, so it's not shameful the other way around, is it?"

The revelation washes over him, spreading over his face like a sudden surge of light.

"_Mon dieu_, you're right! You are absolutely right, Haruhi!" He leans toward her and grasps her hands, earnestly staring into her eyes, "Then, on your behalf... no, on behalf of all the maidens of the world, as testament to the truth that there is no shame in taking a woman's position in bed... Haruhi, please... make a woman out of me!"

Oh, she could argue semantics with him, point out that he's still being pretty sexist about this whole affair in spite of unnecessarily turning it into an example of women's' empowerment or... something. But she's horny. And he's willing.

So she fucks him. All in all, it's pretty magnificent.


End file.
